Well, blog friends,
I graduated. By the skin of my teeth.
The worst four years of my life are finally – finally – over.
I got a puppy (her name is Ginny “the Jet” Rodriguez and I love her), I got a full time job. But I’m kind of miserable.
My job isn’t bad. The office environment is great, I get to bring Ginny with me all day, and the pay isn’t the worst thing in the world. That said, the pay isn’t good, the work is tedious, and the hours are horrible. (Guess who was recently switched to the night shift.) And most importantly, it’s not remotely what I want to be doing. I don’t want to be answering phones, booking hotels for people all day, every day, for who knows how long.
I want to be writing. I want to use a bit of creativity. I want to actually use my brain. The work I do doesn’t require any thought or finesse, and I can actually feel my brain turning to slop inside my head.
And it’s not just work. I’m so tired of living with my parents. I want my own apartment, where I can decide what artwork to put up in the living room, where I can make scrambled eggs after midnight, where I can watch Orange is the New Black without headphones. I want to talk to people on the phone, or on Skype, without a parent sticking their head in my room like “who ya talking to???”
I’m in a really weird time of my life. I’m expected to be responsible, and I’m given a lot of responsibility, but I’m not given the privacy or freedom I need to go along with it. I need to find a way to move out, but I can’t afford to move out. It’s a really horrible, disgusting catch-22.
I wish I had a list of tips and tricks for navigating the post college slump. A really good blogger would turn this into a listicle about self care, and confidence, and having fun. But that’s not how I’m feeling right now. I’m mostly just feeling lost, kind of depressed, stifled, and, above all, bored out of my mind.